Sad day ...

Well, my parents, Mark and I were on our way to my cousin's house on the lake when my Mom got a call from my Aunt to tell her that the nursing home had called and my Papa was running a fever. Not ten minutes later, my Mom got a call from the nursing home. They asked her to pull the car over and they had some news ... she gave the phone to my Dad and immediately knew. When he got off the phone she asked "Is he gone?" and he said yes.

I didn't know what to do. It was so incredibly sudden. He was fine yesterday, ya know? I just put my hand over my mouth and asked "Are you serious?" and began to cry.

I have been crying for five days straight now, because of other senseless drama that has been dragging on ... I'm so tired of crying.

My Papa ... well, his real name is Aubrey Ray Mathis ... gosh, what can I say about him? Words can't begin to express how great of a man he was. He was the rock in our family ... he would do anything for you ... he was a great brother, husband, father, grandfather, etc. He was eighty five when he passed away, although he always said he died the day Nannie (his wife, my grandma) did, which was in March of 2002.

I didn't realize it would be so hard for me ... then I saw him and he didn't look how I remembered him looking. He wasn't strong, determined and he wasn't looking for something to do ... he was so peaceful.

I hadn't been to see him in a really long time, and I'll never forgive myself for that. My Mom always would tell me that he asked where I was and he would say "Gosh, that girl is so busy!" with a big smile! He never stopped smiling!

So, I no longer have any living grandparents ... which is another reason I think this is so hard for me. Mark has all of his ... I feel as though I'm being cheated out on time with them.

It was good to have all of my family together again, though.

The service was today. Being in that church brought back some incredible memories that I wouldn't trade for the world.

I'm going to miss my Papa, but I do know he is in a better place ... and where he has wanted to be for four years now.

In the last few years he got more and more confused. I don't exactly know how he passed. He just developed a fever and not thirty minutes later, he was gone. He just went to sleep. I'm really going to miss him.